______________________

dilemmmmma.
______________________

cambridge is really mad.
totally.
they can't tell the
dumb from the intelligent
*sigh*

and now,
they conveniently put me
through this...
it's tormenting to risk
not seeing you...
not hearing you...
what if i don't ever see you again.

she said some things audibly
just hope you didn't catch them
it'll be so embarrassing!
it'll be so ironic.
i'd let you know.
pronto, promise.

_________________________

satire
_________________________

what am i to do with
this impossible exasperation.
she didn't get the politics.
sandpapered me and her.
conspicuous facade.
but i don't care.
all's fair in this rodeo.
well.
dilemmmmma.
...wondering...
waiting.
_________________________

_____________________

it goes on.
_____________________

guess wat
nothing ever changed
nothing ever changed
despite wat i saw
despite wat it was
cant bear to imagine
im truly numbed
wasnt kidding
even hide and seek
wasnt scary enough
lousy movie
im immuned
immuned to words
immuned to faces
friggin frigs
wont care not i
nobodys home
grandma still cries
mum too
me...
me..
me.
probably-
cant feel anyway
wont care
im numb remember

monday-
who cares
i dont
i will probably react
similarly whether 14 or 41
nothing matters anymore
theres more to life.
than monday.

man shall not live by
bread alone
but by every word
that proceeds from
the mouth of God.

saw the diff b/w
you are talented
impossibly talented
inspiration

two less lonely
people in the world
everything will be fine

waiting.
waiting.
come out, come out,
wherever you are...
______________________

____________________________

My Defeat.
____________________________

“I don’t wanna fight no more.
I’ve forgotten what
I was fighting for.”

There’ll be a time when
All is stolen from you
Even as small as cents
They’ll be gone like they do

And so you turn to God,
Who’s already with you
You’ve forgotten what He taught
But He shelters you through

_______________________

Lost myself.
_______________________

You ain’t talking to me me,
You’re talking to me somebody else.
I just can’t and couldn’t haven’t
Locate my bloody self.
Designed costumes,
Toyed with sincerity,
Accuse Truth a Liar…
Clichés forgotten.
_______________________

‘Blurred fingerprints.’
_______________________

Don’t wanna fight no more.
Don’t wanna invest in weapons.
Mass destruction?
Nah.
Don’t wanna fight no more.
Which form of energy
Had it converted to?
Or has it perished?
[You] only add to my confusion,
Pulse and distractions,
Each time I see [you], each day.
Know what? I don't care.
Don't exaggerate that incident,
It wasn't that serious...
No matter what they pieced,
No matter what they blabber,
Nothing's gonna change
My faith in God, and [you].
We'll survive this eternal
Freedom and Slavery.
* **** ***
_______________________________

______________________________

NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!
______________________________

You blunt creature!
*******!
Wished I were there,
To display my profanity,
HAH!
It’s you she’s rejected,
NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!
NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!

I felt the freeze!
GOD, I felt the freeze…
The Freeze! The FREEZE!
If I did, didn’t she?
YOU are INSENSITIVE.
UNFEELING.
YOU are a STONE.
Oops, sorry, not a stone.
I respect STONES.
You are unworthy,
NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!

______________________________

No MORE.
______________________________

Guess what?
No MORE. You let her slip by,
Hah!
No MORE.
No MORE.
NO MORE.
She’s gonna forget you…
Drank ‘Wang Qing Shui’
Hah!
GoNe FoR gOoD.
HAH!
It’s you she’s rejected-NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!
You messed with her,
What does it mean?
You’ve just messed with ME.
HAH!
I’m feelin’ like a Cannibal – HAH!
Watch out, Dyan.
Watch out.
____________________________

______________________________

Rust from the Past
______________________________

the glass' fatal fall...
like lightning before thunder's call,
you saw it coming...
it was approaching...
but couldn't help it...
it didn't make it.
time fed its rust,
which was the last
rust from the past...?
as solemn as the chimes,
like one of those times,
where you could only helplessly watch...
helplessly sob, helplessly caught.

Rust from the past...
Why did you leave us?
Rust from the past...
Why was it so fast?
Rust from the past...

where did a piece go?
i guess i'll never know...
it'll never heal,
without His shield,
emptiness emerges...
fixing made tedious.
time fed its rust,
which was the last
rust from the past...?
transparent lies,
translucent cries,
opaque eyes...
blinded by rust from the past.

Rust from the past...
Why did you leave us?
Rust from the past...
Why was it so fast?
Rust from the past...

...Nothing...
...matters...
...anymore...
_____________________________