Wednesday, August 30, 2006

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hear.me/
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I dug up the earth.

I dug up the earth with my spade.

I dug up the earth with my spade and tossed it behind me.

With each toss I try my best to toss it further, but I gettin weaker.

Till I collapse onto my knees and plunged into the hole before me.

The very hole which I've dug.

The point of no return, no return, no return...
HEAR ME!
And I can't do it. Out of respect for everyone.
You gotta be out there, out there somewhere, cos these nice words I sing myself to sleep, and open my dreams to bring it close to me, are you listening?

Tomorrow's upside down.
Today's a plain mess.
Screamin CAN YOU HEAR ME?

I opened my eyes, and I'm blinded. Unconscious of my surroudings, and I see only white. I am a wandering individual. Someone devoid of feelings. Someone who laughs without knowing why. Someone who cries without knowing why. Someone who doesn't believe in depression. Cos it's the lamest form of psychological disease. I'm down with a virus and letting it ruin my internal. maybe time is up. hence i can't affiliate myself with anything.

i learnt the hard way. of all ways. the hardest way.
parting is such sweet sorrow? whoever said that was a fool.

wanting to do what i want, but i can't.
wanting to sit on the sidewalk and run onto the road when the largest vehicle comes. but i can't.
wanting to sit in the dark. but i can't.

bitter.

but enjoying it.

cold.

but feeling warm.

if you think you can walk right through me, go ahead.
cos i can walk right through you. without flinching.
that's how tough i've become, and you've lost drastically.

I've nothing to speak of.
no achievements to boast of.
I've pissed you off, and I don't care.
You've done the same. And you've built the wall.

When can I cry without anyone squeezing in tissue?
Cos I don't need it. And if I need it I'll ask.
Cos when you give it to me, I don't know how to react.
I can't say thanks through wet eyes.
It's still embarrassing to cry in front of people.
I hate showing my weakness.
And when you put an arm around me..
I stop moving.
Cos it's dam weird and I don't know how to react.
Sometimes I feel like crying alone.
But I can't reject your presence.
As you can see, i'm not the touchy type of person.

I am a poser.
I am looking for light.

I've cheated.

I've lost to my greatest enemy.

One day when I can finally breathe again, i'll climb out. I'll grab my spade. And i'll dig again. i'll go on for centuries. till the end of time.



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